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Index › Teens & Kids › Peer Relationships
 

The Truth About Cyber Affairs

 
Author: Ruth Houston
 

Cyber affairs are the flavor of the day when it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs. The internet now ties with the workplace as the leading place for cheaters of both sexes to find willing partners with whom to have extramarital affairs. It has removed most of the risks associated with cheating on your mate.

Gone are the days when a would-be-cheater had to physically leave home to seek out someone with whom to have an affair. Now it can all be done in cyberspace without the risk of running into family members, nosy neighbors, or inquisitive friends and workmates. With a few clicks of the mouse, a potential cheater has instant access to an endless array of willing partners. A cyber affair can be easily initiated and conducted from the privacy of your home, with your unsuspecting spouse or significant other in the same room, oblivious to what is going on.

Is a Cyber Affair Cheating?

Cyber affairs are actually a form of emotional infidelity. Although in the early stages, theres no sex involved, most emotional infidelity eventually leads to sexual infidelity if left unchecked . But men and women view cyber affairs very differently.

Most men dont consider cyber affairs as cheating. However women view them quite differently. A survey in Divorce Magazine found that only 46 percent of men considered intense internet relationships to be infidelity, compared to 72 percent of women.

Are Cyber Affairs Serious?

Many people question whether or not cyber affairs should be taken seriously -- especially, if theres no sex involved. A cyber affair is a VERY serious threat. A cyber affair should be treated as seriously as a sexual affair, because left unchecked, thats where it will eventually end up.

In the past 10 years, divorce attorneys have reported seeing an increase in divorces and separations resulting from cyber infidelity. According to the Fortino Group, one-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.

It doesnt take much for a cyber affair to make the transition from cyberspace to the real world. Several studies have found close connections between cyber affairs and subsequent sexual affairs.

According to statistics, 50% of people who engage in internet chats have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.

One study found that 30 % of cyber-affairs escalate from e-mail to telephone calls to personal contact.

Another study found that 31% of people had an online conversation which eventually led to real-time sex.

So dont make the mistake of underestimating a cyber affair.

Signs of a Cyber Affair

How can you tell if your partner is having a cyber affair? Telltale signs of a cyber affair include sitting at the computer into the wee hours of the night, heading for the computer first thing in the morning, insisting on privacy when surfing the Net, moving the computer into a a locked office or more private area of the home, constantly changing passwords, and other suspicious behavior.

Chapter 23, Computer Use, in Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs, lists 30 computer-related telltale signs that can alert you that your partner is involved in a cyber affair. (Order your copy from www.InfideltyAdvice.com. Amazon.com. or 1-800-431-1579)

Regardless of the term you use -- cyber cheating, cyber affairs, online affairs or internet affairs, its a variation of emotional infidelity and should never be taken lightly. If youd like to know whether or not your partners online friendship is dangerously close to becoming emotional infidelity, you can request the free Emotional Infidelity Quiz by sending an e-mail to InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with the words Emotional Infidelity Quiz in the subject line.

A Fool Proof Test

People will often try to justify a cyber affair by calling it a harmless online friendship. If your partner tries to make light of your concern, or accuses you of making a big deal about nothing, theres one way to find out for sure.

If the internet friendship is as harmless, or as innocent as your partner claims it to be, then he should have no problem with you sitting beside him, observing the exchange of correspondence back and forth. If hes unwilling to do that, then you have your answer as to whether or not his online friendship is as harmless as he would have you believe. Safeguard your relationship by taking positive action before its too late.

 
 
 

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