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Index › Teens & Kids › Peer Relationships
 

The Trouble With Rebound Relationships

 
Author: My Relationship Tips
 

It never easy when a relationship goes sour. All the love, attention, emotional investment that a person has made to his/her loved one suddenly goes down the drain.

The stress and emotional turmoil that goes with this situation can be extremely devastating on a person. That is why it is not the most ideal time for a person who has just experienced a break up to enter into a new relationship. Because chances are, that a person who is in this situation is just committing his/herself into a rebound relationship. Although, they might not be aware of it at the time.

Emotional baggage

Persons who have just experienced a rebound relationship is extremely vulnerable. They need a lot of emotional support, kindness, and understanding.

Sometimes when these individuals who are torn and heartbroken feel that they can't find this support from their friends and family, they commit themselves into a new relationship.

The problem with this set-up is that individuals who are experiencing a heartache may not have any true feelings for the new person in their lives. They may still be confused and leering from their previous relationship. They just need somebody to help them heal.

Rotten deal

Now if you are on the receiving end of this arrangement, chances are you are getting a rotten deal. Especially if you are already emotionally invested on this person.

Rebounds can get extremely ugly for both parties. Especially once the clouds have cleared up, and the person who has just been through a break up realizes that he or she does not have any true feelings for this person that they are in a relationship with!

Comparison

There is always the danger of persons who have been committed in a previous relationship to project their feelings of their former lovers towards this new person that they have in their lives. Especially, if there are a lot of unresolved issues with his/her previous significant other.

Whatever flaws that a person may have had might be unconsciously transferred into the perception of an individual who has not fully gotten over their previous lover. This situation is a recipe for disaster. It will instigate many fights.

The sad thing about this is the new person that would be entering your life might be really special. But chances are if things stay as they are, a person put into this spot would not stick around.

Another problem with being involved in a rebound relationship is that it doesn't allow individuals who have just had a break up to work out whatever issues they might still have left from their previous broken relationship. The companionship that they get from a new person sometimes may serve as a false sense of security.

This becomes their way of burying problems. But problems and issues need to be resolved and not be suppressed because they will only come back to haunt them!

Take things slow

It would be a good idea to take things slow. Just until a person who has just ended a relationship start to heal. If you find that you are interested in a new person, you might want to inform this person of your situation. Be friends and see where it goes. Look at it this way, if two individuals are meant to be together, destiny will bring them together!

Support system

The best thing to do for individuals who have just experienced a heartache is to be surrounded by people they that will take care of them during this difficult time.

This is specially crucial if an individual has just gone through a divorce or a long term relationship. It may take awhile for them to get back their footing. It is not an easy transition to go back from being used to sharing your life with someone to suddenly becoming single again.

During this time, these individuals need to be with close friends and family- people who will guide them and be sensitive and understanding to their needs during this transitional time, wherein a person who has just ended a relationship is trying to leave their past behind and start a new life.

Every person needs a clean start. This is why they should give themselves time to heal before entering into a new relationship. This would not be the best time to start a successful relationship.

 
 
 

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