In a recent article entitled "Ten Steps To An Ideal Relationship" I noted that Step Four was: knowing how to assess the maturity of others.

Most individuals become attracted to each other on the basis of appearance, mutual needs or by the fact that they represent unconscious parental figures. As a result the level of emotional maturity of the other person is completely ignored.

Although many individuals know of the concept of "emotional maturity" most have never really sat down and defined it for themselves. In another article entitled "What Is Your "Emotional Maturity Quotient" Or EMQ?" I provide a self assessment tool by which individuals can determine their own EMQ.

In my view it is only by knowing yourself that you stand a chance of really being able to assess others in their emotional state.

To become an effective psychiatrist one of my most important and useful undertakings was to look deeply at my own personal emotional issues. It was only in this way that I finally started to understand how we all struggle with similar issues and how to identify them.

Now I am not suggesting that you necessarily go into psychiatry to achieve this. In fact the quickest way to get a head start on this matter is to assess your own EMQ and begin to address and shore up your own deficits through your own personal work.

By doing so you will "see" the quality of persons you are currently being attracted to and are attracting. When your eyes open up you'll feel more empowered to make better choices in your relationships.

I can assure you that a little self assessment now can save you a lot of time, emotional pain and money in the long run. Not only that it will allow you to start a life with someone who is mature, compatible and who you can trust and love with all your heart.

Unfortunately relationships have gotten a "bad name" on this planet because too few do this kind of personal work on themselves. Find it in your heart to help reverse this unfortunate trend.